Drug Dealers Mentor Local Officials

IMG_7641Vermont Government is taking lessons from Vermont’s fastest growing business, Heroin sales. In state governments quest to eclipse all private and non-profit industries, they are looking under all stones for fresh new ideas.

Heroin Dealer, Joe Lovespot tells them about a secret trick of the trade. “First thing you tell them is, all the kids are doing it. This usually gets 60% of the crowd, nobody likes to be square.”

Local Pharmaceutical company Itsgood f.y.a. Pharmaceuticals, a guest contributor was also there for additional advise. “We can only do so much with advertising, we put ads on every TV station all day and night. We control the press, but still we can only do so much. The Heroin Dealers are cutting edge in recruitment.”

Lovespot chimed in, “The real kicker is you give it to them for free. Make believe you actually care for them, they fall for it every time. They think it’s free but they aren’t good with money, none of the kids or adults for that matter understand money. They don’t understand that they pay for the free drugs in their next purchase.”

Itsgood f.y.a Pharmaceuticals was quick to counter, “But the best part is, when people actually want to get off drugs, we give them more! Drugs to get off drugs, it’s genius and the tax payers cover the tab. On top of that we get to charge more than the Heroin dealers! See we got another free scam to work well.”

Vermont officials were aggressively taking notes and asking questions at the conference. We suspect they will adapt quickly.

Tags: ,

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *